6/29/12

Not feeling good at all today, just really tired, run down and achy.  Every time I feel this way, or at least most of the time, I start to really worry that I am "sick" again, and that is very scary.  It seems like I have felt this way for weeks, even though logically I know it has just been a few days.  Although since we have arrived in Colorado I haven't felt great.  I know part is due to the stress of it all, but I also can't seem to breath at all, my allergies are terrible, and I am still adjusting to the altitude.  Still very homesick, Makenna as well.  We saw hermit crabs at the mall the other day, and she was obsessed with getting one, and decided to do 5 book reports to earn the money to buy one.  We got it last night, and she named it Ella Marie Looly.  So sweet.  If it makes her feel better, than I am happy, although this crab is more work than I imagined!  We have to spray it twice a day with distilled water!  She said she wanted the crab so she could talk to it, since she has no friends here:(

Makenna

Makenna asked me the other day if it is ok if she doesn't live at home during college.  The reason, she and Ella have plans to live together when they are in college.  They want to be roomates and when Hope and Aubrey are old enough, they can move in too.  So cute! She asked if she could switch schools.  She wants her and Ella to go to the college she chooses for 2 years, and then they will switch and go to the college Ella wants.  If it were only that easy;)  She and Ella have been skyping a lot since we moved, it is very cute, but also very sad how much they miss eachother!

Denver

Well I still can't seem to get it together enough and blog every night.  We have been living in Denver for less than a week, and I am really really sad.  I don't want to be here.  I want to go back to the place where my girls had too many friends and a great school, and papa around to take them to dinner every week.  I am very homesick, and Makenna is as well, which just breaks my heart.  We are considering moving back, at the expense of looking like complete fools.   I just don't want to mess up my girls!  I want to do the right thing.  I'm afraid if I wait it out a year, and still unhappy, to move them again, after they have made some roots here would be totally unfair.  If we decide to go back it has to happen quickly, which is scary! Will Tony find a job there? Can we get the house in Thornton sold?  Bottom line, above all, Love my girls more than anything, and never want to see them hurting like this again!  Tonight my heart aches with decisions that have to be made.

Waiting to move

I haven't blogged in so long, and am feeling really bad about it!  We are still in Wisconsin, staying at the Dehecks house, waiting to move on Friday.  Makenna is taking the move extremely hard, it really breaks my heart!!  Aubrey doesn't seem to be affected by it.  She mimics Makenna at times, and seems to cry, but gets over very quickly.  Luckily she is young enough to not quite get it.  I just don't know what to do or say to Mak any more.  She cries all the time.  I feel so bad for her.  If I had any idea it would be this hard on her, I would have said no to this move.  I am really sad as well. We have such wonderful friends here, we will miss them dearly! I hope she is happier when we get there!  We have decided to call this week the countdown of really bad days.  Today was bad day number 1, we are glad that it is over.  She seems to laugh when I call it that.  Anything to make her smile. On a lighter note, Aubrey rode a bike without training wheels for the first time tonight!! I am so proud of her.  It seems to come very natural to her, she did it right away, fingers crossed it continues in Colorado!